Nicole Richie Watch

In light of the recent events at the T-Mobile Sidekick party when Nicole Richie gave Brody Jenner the cold hand. I got to thinkin’ “What if Joel had been there? Would a feud have ensued?” The answer is: quite possibly. Who would win in a fight between the two? In this article I will look at the factors that are needed to know who would win using my patented scoring system.

To start lets look at the physical features. After all the match could be over in the first round if this is a heavy weight versus a feather weight.

Joel Madden
Age: 29
Height: 5 foot 9, average
Weight: 160-170, decent size – could pack a bit of a punch
Reach: 50-55 inches
Misc: Tattoos (sleeves and others), piercing, black hair, he wears a lot of sleeveless shirts

Brody Jenner
Age: 23
Height: 5 foot 11, just above average
Weight: 175-185 pounds
Reach: About 60 inches
Misc: He normally doesn’t shave, that makes him look tough sometimes

Recap of Physical Attributes
I’m going to give this round to Brody Jenner but just barely (9-8 victory). This is based on his sheer size. Brody has at least 10 pounds on Joel and has a much larger reach. Points go to Joel for looking the part. Obviously his tattoos and piercing were factors in my decision making as well as him being older and possibly wiser.

Now, I’m going to look at the history of each fighter. Remember: It’s not about the dog in the fight it’s about the fight in the dog.

Joel Madden
Why he is famous: Joel is the lead singer of the band Good Charlotte. Although its main audience is twelve year old girls who only wear black eye-liner and get all their clothes from Hot Topics, the band has a bit of cred. Pretty impressive I guess.
Where he’s from: La Plata, Maryland – Nothing, particularly hardcore about Maryland.
Family Life: He has a twin brother, an older brother and a sister. His father left his family when Joel was 16. He must have had to provide at least some money to his education and family.
Misc: Joel Madden is a smoker (Could help or not. Physically it won’t help, but if he hasn’t smoked in a couple days he may get a nicotine craving during the fight)

Brody Jenner
Why he is famous: Brody was on The Hills and dated members of Laguna Beach. Since he is the stepson of David Foster he was on The Princes of Malibu. He has little talent – minus points.
Where he’s from: Malibu, California
Family Life: His father is an Olympian decathlon runner and his mother was an actress. This guy’s life has been easier than Paris Hilton after two apple martinis.
Misc: This guy has done nothing wrong to make me think that he is a badass. It is really sad.

Recap of Round Two (and the Final Round)
I’m going to give this round to Joel Madden (7-5), not because he has had a hard life or he actually deserves the round but because Brody Jenner has done nothing.

FINAL
WINNER: Joel Madden
SCORE: 15-14
Joel Madden lost points in the physical aspect of the fight however since he dresses the part and has lived somewhat of a life he makes up those points. Brody, I have seen wet blankets that have done more with their lives.

Nicole, Richie, Brody, Jenner, Joel, Madden